So I'm realizing that I don't have a lot of time. For anything.

This realization has partly come about because of other people. Some have told me, "You always seem so busy", "Why are you always in a hurry", and "I hate you, Jason Chesnut. I hate you." Okay, maybe not the last one.

But the sentiment is still there. And although I am not going to necessarily defend myself against these charges, I promise to...wait, wait a second. This is my blog, for God's sakes. What else am I going to write about?

This accusation concerning a lack of time mostly comes from my school days, when most times you could find me walking rather briskly down the sidewalk. There are many possible reasons for this:

1. I'm late for class.
2. I might be just in time for class, which means I might not get my coveted seat in the back middle row (or right next to David Booher, so I could watch flash movies on his laptop).
3. I'm early for class, but I need the time to
a) study for a test
b) do the homework that is due
c) read a PHENOMENAL book
d) eat the food that's clearly occupying my hands
4. I just look damn sexy when I walk fast. So...so there.

This brings me to another point of mine - when do we NOT want more time to do something else? I'll admit, when I started LVC, I thought the whole 9-5 gig, without classes (or, consequently, anything to do on the weekends) I would have LOADS of time, so much time - in fact - that I would walk slowly wherever I went. So slow, I would look...well, like the tortoise. A sexy tortoise.

But, no. I normally get home at about 5.30pm, and we are eating by 6.30pm (if I have cooking duties, work starts right away). If I don't, I may clean up afterwards, which lasts until about 7:15-7:30. It is at this point that I spend the requisite amount of time sacrificing the necessary chicken to the Sun god Ra. (It's only fair.) Either way, before you blink, it's 8:00pm. I have been (trying) to go work out with my roomie every morning at the Y. We wake up at 5.30am in order to do that. Thus, I start getting tired right around the ripe old time of 9 in the evening.

As you might be able to see, my time is mostly limited. The above description only happens on the days when I don't have anything else going on, like choir/drum practice at church on Wednesday night, women's drum circle on some Thursday nights, and community nights interspersed throughout.

When is there time to do things I want to do? I can't even write in this blog unless I'm spending time at work (covert time, obviously). I don't call people on my phone, since most free time starts after 9pm - at which point I am near comatose. I don't hang out unless it's on the weekend, and even then there are things that are going on.

Why do I walk fast everywhere I go? Because I want more time to spend wherever it is that I'm going. Yes, I realize that the journey is half the beauty, and I try very hard to intentionally slow down.

But, sometimes, I go fast SO THAT I can slow down somewhere else. We work and earn money SO THAT we can have time to play and relax. Do the means justify the ends?

Discuss. I'll be back later.