Welcome, February.

Hello, George W. Bush.

In his State of the Union last night, our president called for unity, asked Congress to pass some bills assuring America's superiority, and said, 'Back the hell off' about wire-tapping.

He displayed the same characteristics that, for some reason, got him reelected, and I just shake my head in shame in case anyone was watching that wasn't from our country. Bush not only asserted America's superiority, but presented a bill that would ask for more money to be used in cementing that superiority. I mean, dear God, there are scarier things than world hunger out there people: We could not be as smart as the Japanese in math and science! Holy shit! How can we survive?

Bush also fell back on the favored strategy of politicians in general - making you afraid of it, and telling you who's to blame for it. As Michael Douglas says in The American President, "that, ladies in gentlemen, is how you win elections." Of course, the people to blame for our problems were the usual suspects:

1. The Democrats. God, those guys suck. They did get in a good cheer when Bush conceded that he did not get his Social Security bill passed. But, other than that, they just sat in the crowd and looked pissed off. Especially Hillary. John Kerry was just spacing, mostly. Probably saying to himself - as my roommate Minda pointed out - "how could I have lost to that douchebag?" Well, you did, John. Thanks a lot.

2. The People. We have never given Bush enough credit for his farsightedness on such things as the War on Terror and the threat of people wanting to take away our freedoms. (Apparently because they hate them. It's pretty bad when people hate freedom.) But we just sit and bitch and annoyingly nip at Bush's heels with frustrating and outdated talking points like 'free speech', 'privacy', and 'civil rights.' I mean, grow up People. We're fighting a war here. The least you can do is shut your mouth, go to Iraq, kill other people, and always know that you must protect the Fatherland from...you know...people that hate us. (Or just won't let us have all the oil that we, according to Bush, "are addicted to.")

3. The Republicans. Weird, I know. Just the ones that are not really all gung-ho about Imperial Rome....err...America. You know who I'm talking about. The ones that don't blindly support the president and do inane things like ask for public discourses on such no-duh topics like war and WMDs. Shit, are they conservative or not?? Then shutup and act like it.

4. Those bastards that didn't stand up every 5 seconds to applause him. (I mean, it was like a Lutheran service on speed.) I'm not saying this is Bush's fault. It's not. I just wanted to remind everyone that if it was as annoying for the people there as it was for us watching, then someone would have starting throwing apples or pipe bombs.

5. Undemocratic heathens from the atheist and immoral countries of...well, you know.

6. Enemies of freedom (read: terrorists that are not supported by America).

7. The previous administration. Fuck you, Bill Clinton.

President Bush also continued in the vein of every politician in recent years - he absolutely refused to admit wrongdoing or recognize America's incredibly hypocrisy. Iraq didn't have WMDs, but dammit, don't say it that way. Remind the people that Iran wants them, and could easily obtain them.

But then, we forget the most egregious ommitted fact that I have ever heard of:

America has over more WMDs than the rest of the world combined.

I don't think we can say this enough. We have what we refuse to accept anywhere else. It is absolutely inappropriate and just plain wrong to seek weapons of mass destruction. Unless, of course, you are us. You have GOT to be kidding me.

The apologists no doubt would say that we have the right to defend ourselves. We are also defending freedom abroad, so we, basically, need them. But then we come to the paradox that is America. We want to act globally in militarization and corporate welfare, but then we want to concentrate locally on everything else - mainly, our own standard of living. So, we want to be involved in the world as the unchallenged leader and All-Powerful Master and King, but then we want to do it so that we can preserve the freedoms and privileges of...Americans.

This is not to say that we, as Americans, don't deserve these things. But it makes no sense to me to advocate for the complete and total dominance of America while having the nerve to tell the rest of the world what to do.

How did Bush do that? Oh, simple. Halfway through his very neatly-packed, black-and-white, good-and-evil speech that belonged in the war speeches of Braveheart and The Lord of the Rings, he rejoiced at people around the world who choose democratically-elected leaders. In democracy, Bush basically said, you can't go wrong! ...except, of course, the Hamas. I mean, that's fine, Palestine, but let me tell you something: We don't like the Hamas, so you better watch yourself. And Bush won't mention other troublesome elected leaders, like Chavez in Venezuela.

Okay, okay, let's redefine. People who elect, democratically, leaders who will not question America's superiority or monopoly on morality, then YES! We rejoice! But, if you are stupid enough to elect people who promise some things but do not do them, or threaten to take away your freedoms to finance war-hungry terrorist regimes, (hmm...sound familiar?) then we will not recognize you. Sorry. Just check with us first. It's easier that way.

It's just so frustrating. How can we hold a double-standard to the world?

I guess my high-school teacher was right: The winners write the history of the world. I just wish we could stop seeing our existence as a competition. We have not "succeeded" as a country simply because we are the richest and most powerful. People are still starving, dying of AIDS, living paycheck-to-paycheck, while the wealth is concentrated in the hands of a few.

That's not success. That's sad.