There is something I just don't get.

It seems that, in the realm of politics, political thought, and political action, it's a lose-lose situation. First off, there is the ubiquitous liberal-conservative spectrum, which is annoying in and of itself. But then there is the glaring fact that, if you're reading this right now, it means you have access to a computer, and are therefore better off than a lot of people in the world.

So how can I authentically speak of Africa and radical politics and world hunger when I have a place to stay at night, a roof over my head, meals coming my way, even though I volunteer and make next to no money? How can I?

There seems to be very few ways to reconcile this. And, as many of you know, this is the single largest qualm I have when it comes to my place in this world. How in the hell can I reconcile my birth and my privilege as a white American in a world where so many die of hunger and preventable diseases every day, and many more make money off of questionable business practices in the developing world?

I can't become elitist and somehow feel "more" radical or "in-touch-with-suffering" because I spent four months in Africa. What does that matter? I don't live there. I live here, in Minnesota, and I don't ever really worry about where my next meal will come from. Ever. Sure, I'll fast once-a-week (hopefully, still) during Lent, primarily because I want to show a small semblance of solidarity with those who starve to death daily. But what does that do?

Nor can I become complacent or apathetic, because there's no way I can let go of these values that have been seared into my conscience forever. (i.e. Why I never wanted to become a politician on Capitol Hill)

So, what then? Have I asked enough questions for this blog posting? I can certainly ask more. I don't expect answers, but I'm tired of having so many questions that will probably never be resolved.

I feel that we all struggle to find our place in this world. We all realize we are connected to one another, and we all shake our heads to know that people are dying even as I write this blog entry. But what we do about it must go farther than illustrious titles like "conservative" or "liberal". We must go beyond that.

There must be another way. I daresay Jesus had that sort of idea. A way beyond partisan politics. A way beyond empty promises and grandstanding and rhetoric. I would boldly suggest that his was a way of action. A way of doing. A way of peace.

I'm still stuck with, as John Lithgow said once on Third Rock from the Sun, "a mystery wrapped around an enigma, boiled up with a conundrum, and fried in Chinese dipping sauce!"

I don't know the way out. But I am willing to look for it. And I speak from within my privilege. I have no idea what it is like to be homeless, even though I slept outside of the chapel at TLU in boxes once a year. I have no concept of what it means to be malnourished or starving, no matter how many times or how long I fast. I am no better than anyone else, and no amount of rhetoric is going to change that.

I am who I am, and I hope I can do something worthwhile in my time spent here. I hope I can stick with my morals and values, while at the same time be willing to be truly open-minded to the opinions and concerns of others.

I pray that I can exist authentically in this world.