Saturday, August 19, 2006

what was i saying?

Recently I have been struggling with what to say, but I don’t want to let my blog falter. It feels like a discipline in many ways to keep this up, to keep my words going, to keep spitting out these thoughts.

I woke up this morning in somewhat of a cloudy haze. I couldn’t understand where I was, and all I wanted to do was go back to sleep. Once I realized that I, in fact, could go back to sleep, I was so indescribably happy that I couldn’t stop grinning. Such is vacation, some will say. But, believe it or not, I felt like I was simply finding contentment in the richness of my ordinary, day-to-day life.

So many thoughts run through my head in the course of the day, but once I sit down to write in this thing, they have all but disappeared, with only shards of the remaining ideas floating around…somewhere…just out of reach.

I have done very little this time around in Texas. I have seen people, unpacked, repacked, packed again, and slept, but most of my thoughts have been geared towards the elusive idea of seminary – what it will mean, how it will be, what will come of it.

I always remember the ubiquitous send-off prayer read to many an idealistic volunteer before their service begins – I can’t recall the exact words right now, but it mostly reminds us that wherever we go, God will be with us. I don’t know how many times I’ve prayed for that exact thing, only to forget it the minute I start imagining any new phase in my life.

Perhaps I should pray for patience, to remember that God is always with us, no matter where we go. But I’m much too busy to remember to do that.



At 4:24 PM , Blogger Lauren said...

We're starting this crazy seminary journey together, my friend--in spirit, at least. :) You will now be linked on my blog so that I can continue to keep up with you. I wonder if we'll even have time to blog amidst all the busy-ness?? Hopefully every once in a while. . .

Blessings to you! Miss you. Here we go. . .

At 8:48 PM , Blogger JP said...

"Lord, God, you have called your servants to ventures of which we cannot see the ending, by paths as yet untrodden, through perils unknown. Give us faith to go out with good courage, not knowing where we go, but only that your hand is leading us and your love supporting us; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."
-Evening Prayer, LBW p. 153

[2] Every blogger goes through this. You, unlike the majority, will probably recover once you start the adventure of seminary in the fall. Just remind yourself: you're gonna the LSTC!


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