what was i saying?

Recently I have been struggling with what to say, but I don’t want to let my blog falter. It feels like a discipline in many ways to keep this up, to keep my words going, to keep spitting out these thoughts.

I woke up this morning in somewhat of a cloudy haze. I couldn’t understand where I was, and all I wanted to do was go back to sleep. Once I realized that I, in fact, could go back to sleep, I was so indescribably happy that I couldn’t stop grinning. Such is vacation, some will say. But, believe it or not, I felt like I was simply finding contentment in the richness of my ordinary, day-to-day life.

So many thoughts run through my head in the course of the day, but once I sit down to write in this thing, they have all but disappeared, with only shards of the remaining ideas floating around…somewhere…just out of reach.

I have done very little this time around in Texas. I have seen people, unpacked, repacked, packed again, and slept, but most of my thoughts have been geared towards the elusive idea of seminary – what it will mean, how it will be, what will come of it.

I always remember the ubiquitous send-off prayer read to many an idealistic volunteer before their service begins – I can’t recall the exact words right now, but it mostly reminds us that wherever we go, God will be with us. I don’t know how many times I’ve prayed for that exact thing, only to forget it the minute I start imagining any new phase in my life.

Perhaps I should pray for patience, to remember that God is always with us, no matter where we go. But I’m much too busy to remember to do that.